Nobody Does It Better than the Fighting Saints



Once again I want to congratulate Archbishop Jackels & Bishops Malloy, Nickless & Morlino on the excellent job they did this year. I am sure God will be adding a few jewels to your crowns when you get to Heaven for what you did to make us successful.

Now I have a big surprise for my team. I just heard from a reliable source that Carly Simon is doing a remake of her hit “Nobody Does It Better” from “The Spy Who Love Me” to honor them. She is rewriting some of the lyrics. Part of it will now go “Nobody does it better. Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody Does it better. Fighting Saints you’re the best.” I am sure it will be a number one hit when it does come out.

Since it isn’t out yet, here is Carly Simon singing the original version:


Fantasy Bishball Championship – The Newman Cup – Crusading Croziers


Fantasy Bishball Championship – The Newman Cup vs The Dubuque Fighting Saints

Playing Bishop Coyne, Bishop Jenky and Archbishop Kurtz (sitting Cardinal Wuerl)

Bishop Coyne – 12.75 points

8/19-8/25 : 31 tweets (7.75 pts)
8/19 – blogpost (1 pt)
8/20 – YouTube video “Why does the priest pour water into the wine?” (1 pt)
8/20 – gave a talk to archdiocesan vocation directors (3 pts)

(to read Bishop Coyne’s twitter feed – click here)

Bishop Jenky – 10.25 points

8/19-8/25 : 5 tweets (1.25 pts)
8/19 – blogpost (1 pts)
8/20 – 2 Facebook entries (2 pts)
8/24 – Mass for Peoria Diocese Pro-life Workshop (3 pts) [click on link for PDF of schedule of events]
8/25 – Mass for Peace and Justice at Peoria Irish Fest (3 pts)

(to read Bishop Jenky’s Twitter feed, click here)

Archbishop Kurtz – 14.25 points

8/19-8/25 : 17 tweets (4.25 pts)
8/19 – blogpost (1 pt)
8/21 – attended opening ceremonies for Sacred Heart Schools in Louisville Archdiocese (3 pts)
8/24 – 4th Degree Exemplification Knights of Columbus event (3 pts)
8/25 – Pastor installation Mass at Our Lady of Mercy (3 pts)

(to read Archbishop Kurtz’s Twitter feed, click here)

TOTAL: 37.25 points

Dubuque Fighting Saints (v Croziers)

Updated @ 9:51 am CDT Tuesday because I found 1 more appearance of Archbishop Jackels last week

2nd update @ 11:20 am CDT

Well, this is it, the championship match. & I am very proud of the performance of the 3 Bishops who played this week, Archbishop Jackels & Bishops Malloy & Nickless.  They put their hearts & souls into it. I couldn’t have asked for more of them than they did.

Total points – 39

Archbishop Jackels – 14 points

20 Aug – New Melleray Abbey, Peosta, Ordained Brother Ephram to the priesthood – 3 points

21 Aug – DBQ Co Right to Life Protest Planned Parenthood participants appreciation luncheon, St Raphael Cathedral – 3 points

21 Aug – Letter to the editor,Telegraph Herald – 1 point

22 Aug – School Mass – Seton Catholic School, St Joseph Catholic Church, Farley – 3 points

24 Aug – Statement on Immigration issue published  in Telegraph Herald – 1 point

25 Aug – Mass @ Our Lady of the Mississippi Abbey & meeting with nuns – 3 points

(Note to link to articles so you can read them you have to be a subscriber of the online edition of the TH)

Bishop Malloy – 12 points

5 Top o the Morning videos – 5 points

20 Aug – Catholic Forum, WROK – 3 points

22 Aug – Observer column – 1 point

24 Aug – Hope for Haitians Dinner, Rockford, IL – 3 points

Bishop Nickless – 13 points

22 Aug – Cohort II Graduation Ceremony, Irene SD – 3 points

23 Aug – Newly assigned priests meeting – 3 points

24 Aug – Bishop’s Circle Mass, St. Joseph Church, Sioux City IA – 3 points

25 Aug – Year of Faith Holy Hour, Cathedral of the Epiphany, Sioux City IA – 3 points

22 Aug – The Shepherd Writes column – 1 point

Meanwhile, I am happy to report that, despite LarryD’s release of the fact that I was in negotiations with the residents of Saturn’s moon Titan before they were supposed to go public, they have been successfully completed. Effective immediately anyone who looks at Titan will see the following hologram on the top of the moon’s cloud layer:


Additionally, we are currently investigating the source of the leak. We hope to find out how LarryD got ahold of information about the secret negotiations since no one in my organization knew about them. Saturn Girl, of the Legion of Super Heroes has been contacted by her fellow Titanians & will soon be visiting LarryD to question him. & I would remind Larry that Titanians have telepathic powers, so he won’t be able to hide anything from her.


2013 Newman Cup: Crusading Croziers v. Dubuque Fighting Saints

The Crusading Croziers reached the Newman Cup for the second straight season, defeating the Amazing Acolytes 28.5 to 12.75, and are poised to defend their title against the insanely popular Dubuque Fighting Saints. The Fighting Saints knocked off the 2012 Western Conference champion Rocky Mountain Hierarchs in a 17-5 drubbing.

The showdown has all the makings of a classic: the high-powered offense of the Crusaders, led by Bishop Coyne, against the populist fan favorite Fighting Saints, led by a balanced attack featuring a combination of tweets, posts and radio broadcasts.

Crozier manager LarryD likes his chances, though, and is confident of a convincing victory and retention of the Newman Cup.

“We have a secret weapon – I call it our “nuclear option” – that all but guarantees the win,” he told AoftheA Sports. “Mind you, we’re going into the contest with eyes wide open. The Fighting Saints put up a lot of points. They actually had the highest score in the regular season, but only because I had one “DNP”. So they’re good, and we have to be ready and on top of our game.”

The Fighting Saints manager, Al Italia, couldn’t be reached for comment, as he was negotiating merchandise licensing deals with intelligent life he discovered on the Saturn moon, Titan.

Another Cool Cat Comes Out for the Fighting Saints

As the Fighting Saints prepare to take on the Croziers for the championship, I am happy to announce that another cool cat has come out in support of the Fighting Saints.

Garfield has even posed for a poster.




However, all is not well at the Arbuckle residence. It turns out Odie is a Croziers fan:




Naturally Garfield has dealt with this in the only way possible:



A sign of the outcome for the championship I hope.



Acolytes, Eastern Conference final vs. Crusading Croziers

I hope you all will allow me to post this a little late:

Playing DiNardo, Farrell, Sartain (strategically sitting Lori – he’ll sub for Sartain if the Acolytes get into the Final Final)

Total Score: 12.25

Cardinal DiNardo: 4 pts

1. spoke at Serra Club (photo is from 8/16) – 3 pts

2. blog post on 8/14 – 1 pt

Bishop Farrell: 5.25 pts

1. blog post on 8/14 – 1 pt

2. Twitter feed – 17 tweets, 4.25 pts


Archbishop Sartain: 3 pts

1. attended LCWR conference and preached homily – 3 pts


I see that I’m not close to challenging the power of the Croziers.  Great season, friends!  Here’s hoping someone can unseat the Croziers next week. 🙂


2013 Conference Championship Match v. Dubuque Fighting Saints

Cdl. O’Malley
Mega blog post one point;

Abp. Chaput
Speaker at Laity engaging Laity conference three points

Abp. Aquila
Twentieth Anniversary of WYD Mass one point.

Only five points. /sad trombone

I think the Hierarchs need a spiffy new logo to keep up with the competition. Congrats to the Dubuque Fighting Saints.

Anyone interested in fantasy football let me know. I’m setting up the Hanseatic League and the Ghibellines will be a force! (hoping they won’t be a farce)